How do you handle conflict?
I love what happens to relationships and organizations when conflict is exposed…..and addressed.
It is a blessing when conflicts arise. Things probably have been brewing for a while and may have caused stress, anxiety, and even sleepless nights. Relationships have been strained, teams are not performing at their best, and hurtful things may have been shared.
Once conflict is out in the open, we can deal with whatever is bothering our family, friends, or employees. It gives us the opportunity to become an agent of change, affecting relationships and cultures in a positive and constructive way.
My friend, Eric Fogg, stated it well. “Conflict is the pathway to peace. It’s not that I love conflict or seek it out or even enjoy it, I just recognize that dealing with the conflict that already exists while it is small is the pathway to peace. A great way to have chaos is to avoid conflict. Remember, the conflict already existed, so now it’s a question about having it grow into cancer, or deal with it while it is small.”
Here are some helpful conflict reminders:
- Life happens. Conflict and disagreement happen. They are a natural part of our human condition.
- All conflicts are not created equal. Did someone not make coffee this morning or is the reactor melting down. Perspective is a good thing.
- Mutual respect and treating others as we’d like to be treated are a must for healthy conflict resolution. Put yourself in other people’s shoes.
- Whenever possible, confront the issue, not the person.
- The best marriages, teams, and relationships welcome and expect conflict. They actively work to leverage conflict to improve their relationships and team performance.
- Unaddressed conflict can become a relational and organizational cancer.
